“It’s none of your business.” 

That’s what Catherine Talkington wanted to say, when a representative from Ceresti Health cold-called the 79-year-old Idaho teacher nine months ago. How am I coping with being a caregiver of someone with dementia? It’s none of your business. We all want to answer marketing calls curtly like that. But Catherine didn’t.

“For some reason I stayed on the phone,” she says. “Something stopped me.”

In retrospect, that “something” was five years of living with her husband, Chris’s dementia diagnosis without any support or resources from his doctors. That something was the burnout from Chris’s alcohol abuse, a known risk factor for dementia. That something was the fatigue of working two jobs while slowly having to take on Chris’s tasks unexpectedly – from managing the finances to mowing the lawn. That something, Catherine now realizes, was the loneliness of being without a partner, as her husband’s former self fades away.

“I thought, ‘Yes. I’ll take a chance on this,’” she says. “In the back of my mind I was thinking, ‘I need help.’”

With Ceresti, Catherine found educated, compassionate care coaches and personalized education that illuminated the many dark places dementia had ushered into her life. 

“I’m dealing with people who are really professionals, and whom I trust,” she says. “I call my care coach ‘my therapist.’ They give me information, education. They give me validation of the reality of what this is. This is not a memory problem. The brain is dying. That’s something I can understand. And when I understand something, I can make adjustments.”

Those adjustments include taking over driving and many household responsibilities, as well as tempering her reactions to and expectations of Chris, a retired stock broker and former mayor of Twin Falls, Idaho. It gave her peace that she hadn’t known in years.

“I was a mess, and I was angry. I had gotten over being sad, because when you're dealing with someone who is drinking too much, you can just get so emotionally done, and I was finished,” she says. “I was not in a good place.”

Catherine says that by providing her with the tools and education she needed to better understand Chris’s condition, Ceresti allows her to focus on what is in her control – rather than feel steamrolled by what isn’t.

“The information on the tablet is concrete. They’re facts. And the segments are short, so you can take it all in,” she says. “It gave me strategies and tools, which helped me lower my stress.”

As importantly, Catherine says, the care coach team told her something she needed to hear: “Caretakers must take care of themselves in order to go forward. And I felt so guilty because that’s not ever how I’ve worked in my life. But it’s the repeated message that Ceresti has throughout their care program.”

Catherine says she speaks with friends and neighbors whose spouses are exhibiting signs of dementia and talks with them about Ceresti and the help that is available – but also about the realities of the condition: Dementia is not something that “gets better.” 

“I yearn to go out to dinner with Chris and have an interesting conversation. That would be lovely, but it doesn’t happen,” she says. “It's lonely. And Ceresti has kind of stepped in a little bit and helped provide an outlet.”

Reflecting back on that cold-call from Ceresti, Catherine says she is still not sure why she stayed on the line. But she’s grateful that she did. 

“Things are not perfect or wonderful, but they are so much better,” she says. “And I’m in such a better place as a person.”

‍